Women like a sense of humour

Women Laughing

Not with you, at you

Yes they do, but they won’t go out with you if you look like you’ve been hit by a stray four-pronged pitchfork.

Of course women like to be charmed and they like men to make them smile or even giggle in that girly giggly way that’s endearing in the first few months but monumentally irritating after a year.

But that’s hugely optimistic. The fact is they’ll size you up, check out your arse, and if they don’t fancy you that, my friend, is it. There’ll be no face-sucking for you.

A good sense of humour is secondary. Any claims that it is the primary cause of attraction misleads ugly men into thinking that normal, functional girls will be throwing themselves at you if you can tell a decent gag and form a sentence. You have to face the truth: you won’t pull Cindy Crawford if you have been cursed with a baboon’s arse for a face.

So, the advice is, play in your own looks league… unless of course, you’re loaded.

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Modern Internal Combustion engines

Engine Image

Luddite trash

Any internal combustion engine – regardless of  how much frippery, new technology, and material should not be described  as modern.

This is a very archaic design that delivers power through a series of explosions. Once those explosions have taken place it pumps out noxious gases that if, controlled by sticking a hose from the exhaust pipe through to a window while you are in it, will kill you within half an hour.

The internal combustion engine was invented in the 1800s and we are still using it. It replaced horses for goodness’ sake. To power internal combustion engines we use fossil fuels that we kill people to protect.

An internal combustion engine is about as modern as a typewriter – it’s outdated, outmoded and if we haven’t thought of another way to power our modes of transport within 30-odd years, then it’s time to sterilise the entire population.

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