Doc Martens boots

Boots are made for walking, not torturing

Not technically boots or even footwear, more foot/ankle/legwear that, in the initial stages, is something Guantanamo torture experts would have been pleased with. Putting on a brand-spanking new, rigid-as-a-dartboard 10-hole ‘Air Wear’ Dr Marten boot is like strapping a cast iron drainpipe to your leg; there is little resistance and, although it affords you the pleasure of leaning over at any angle – Michael Jackson smooth-criminal-style – it forces you to goosestep until the ‘running-in’ period of three months is over.

You can, if you like, pummel the leather with a tent mallet, but that won’t help. Nor will a vatload of that stuff that’s called something like ‘leather-food’. No, with Docs, there’s only pain in the gain; you just have to make it clear to your friends that for three months you’ll walk like a Nazi but assure them that you really do not have any plans to annexe the Sudetenland.

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5 Comments »

  • To take up the Doc Marten theme, surely they’re the reserve of under-18s going through that goth phase? Went on this date years ago with a girl who turned up with purple Doc Martens. It set the alarm bells straight away. I was out there in a flash.

    Comment by Matt — April 7, 2010 @ 4:51 pm

  • Genius… oh so true. Had to wear extra socks until my feet grew into my size 8 14 hole boots. One benefit was you could actually walk on water in them…naah that’s a lie! Great blog thanks guys.

    Comment by Gareth — April 8, 2010 @ 9:54 am

  • Leather Food sounds sinister too, I prefer my cows to be pretty much dead before I strap them on – not still feeding!

    Comment by Rob — April 8, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

  • I was put in doc martin boots from the age of four 4 eylet high. At age seven I was in 8 eylet boots, age nine 10 eyelet boots age ten 12 eyelet boots age twelve 14 eyelet boots, age thirteen 18 eyelet boots, and at age 13 20 eyelet boots and found them all comfortable./

    Comment by PETER — August 8, 2010 @ 5:30 pm

  • I love mine. I had a pair of maroon 3 eyes way back in the day. Now, I just got my black 5 eyes. They fit better than the 3 eyes and they are not steel toe. I’m glad I went without this time. They are still awesome, and I am at the age that I don’t think using my “shit kickers” is going to happen. I wear steel toe everyday (military), and that is horrible. Break in period? It’s true…I am walking around with the heel, toe snap for a little while. Well worth it!

    Comment by Jason — July 19, 2012 @ 1:58 am

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