Facebook friends

Computer: your only 'friend'

Sad people who spend far too much time behind their computers and can’t be bothered to go out, phone people up or interact in the usual fashion have plenty of Facebook ‘friends’. Usually these friends are people you might have met at a party and with whom you exchanged a few pleasantries.

The idea, it seems, is to collect friends. ‘I’ve got 434 friends on Facebook, aren’t I popular?’

No, you’re dysfunctional.

Your real friends are people that you go out with, see on a regular basis, share your trials and tribulations with, drink too much with, share a drink with and they forgive your many faults. They put up with you and they don’t remove you if you tell them that their profile picture looks weird. Propping up your myriad insecurities by applying to be everyone’s ‘friend’ is a sure sign that ‘staying in’ will be a regular feature in your life.

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  • There used to be an “All my Facebook friends are ACTUALLY my friends” group, but everyone gradually left as their hypocrisy was exposed.

    Comment by Rob — April 3, 2010 @ 2:26 pm

  • One of my facebook friends has just ruined 2 hours of Formula 1 viewing for me (I recorded it as I’m away for the weekend) by posting “I heart Lewis” on my wall.

    Comment by Marie — April 4, 2010 @ 4:15 pm

  • That’s why most companies block facebook: save the employees from dysfunctional illusions.

    Comment by Sherry — April 10, 2010 @ 4:37 am

  • Dysfunctional illusions – I like that. Poetry.

    Comment by tim — April 10, 2010 @ 12:53 pm

  • I only found this website becase you added me as a Facebook Friend. Have you lost all our numbers?????


    Comment by Doug — April 13, 2010 @ 9:39 am

  • A good point… we’ll um, get our coats.

    Comment by Lies lies lies — April 13, 2010 @ 10:40 am

  • i joined fb last year and found old friends but I completely agree with you Tim, people to people, face to face, glass to glass, plate to plate…oops!food again…yes!meeting people face to face with a glass of wine and good food…and lots of chats, laughter, jokes, confessions, tears and reality.There is joy in that!!

    Comment by Yolanda — April 17, 2010 @ 1:58 pm

  • Totally agree with you Tim, Anybody want to be my FB friend (o:

    Comment by Tony Dewhurst — April 28, 2010 @ 7:32 am

  • Stop giving it and come round like a real friend and Godfather, numnut! X

    Comment by Natasha — May 10, 2010 @ 8:11 am

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